Draco Malfoy and The Fountain of Thought
by faecree
Summary: After thoroughly deducing that he needed a change in the way he mused over things, Draco opts to himself that he needs to start to consider things in detail so he can raise a level in his own mind. Of course it backfires in an odd way. Harry/Draco, AU-ish


**Title**: The Fountain of Thought  
**Rating**: T – for swearing, crude/dark humor, suggestive language, and my writing style in general… haha~!  
**Summary**: After thoroughly deducing that he needed a change in the way he mused over things, Draco opts to himself that he needs to start to consider things in detail so he can raise a level in his own mind. Of course it backfires in a strange way…  
**Warnings**: Uhh, for warnings, I guess I should write, crazy Draco-being-not-straight related rambles, Harry/Draco implications (which are secretly blindingly obvious), poorly used British slang, snarky personalities, and BoyLove.  
**Author's Note**: Thanks to my bestie Diana taking me to see Half Blood Prince at 12:00 a.m. on opening night/day?? I formed a strange obsession with Draco Malfoy, followed soon after by Harry/Draco and Sirius/Remus, so that's where this is coming from. Of course, I've always loved Draco, and Tom Felton for portraying him in the movies, but seeing him all cute and crying in the movie just made me coo. Also, keep in mind that my Harry Potter history is in need of a good brushing up, so there might be a few ruff spots. But other then that, this story is going to be in Third Person Limited, meaning that while I will not be using "_I's and me's_", but the only person's mind you'll be able to read is Draco's, because I find this to be an extremely amusing and humor provoking way of writing. Though, it also means that this story is going to be a bit wordy, so be aware. Also, much like "For Daws to Peck At", this story is going to be dark humor… but no rape this time.

And one more thing; my personal idea of dark humor is humor that comes from strange dialogue and random tidbits of info that seem silly and out of place, but are preceded by dark statements and ideas. Uhh… it's really quite hard to explain, so just read and you might understand. It's isn't humorous as much as it is silly.  
**Music I Listened To**: Howl's Moving Castle- Main Theme (Merry-go-round of Life), Lacrimosa- Kalafina, Show Me Love- tATu, Cassie- Flyleaf, Fortune Diver- Kagamine Len  
**Chapter I**: Expect it in a week to a month, as school is starting for me tomorrow.

**D e d i c a t e d . T o  
****D i a n a**

"_For being the crazed bitch who got me into liking Harry Potter;_

_My sister officially hates you."_

* * *

T h e  
F o u n t a i n . o f . T h o u g h t

"The story of Draco Malfoy's darkly humorous mind…"

**I n t r o d u c t i o n**

Being Draco Malfoy was an important job.

In fact, merely being in the Malfoy family was an important job.

Wait, scratch that, the most important job of all was, truthfully, being a pureblood.

However, while all these things had been engraved in his mind as truths from birth, Draco Malfoy was actually quite the rude little bugger, and even at the moment, during his parents' formal Christmas gala, fondly referred to as the Malfoy's Holiday Celebration, though not nearly as fondly thought of, he was slumped into the lounge couch with is legs crossed, and promptly ignoring the guests. And in this spot, he was quite content by himself. Though, on her first trip through the house, as she attempted to meet and greet all of their ever so lovely friends and partners, his mother had stopped to pull Draco to his feet upon noticing his position, so he could stand beside her as the picture perfect son, and then lightly smacked the back of his head (it was an affectionate smack, mind you) as a reminder to present himself well, just as she headed back to the kitchen to make sure all of the food was prepared correctly, and that none of their appetizers had fallen apart. But of course, as soon as Narcissa was gone again, Draco sauntered back over to the couch and plopped himself down in his previous position with a disgruntled sigh, and allowed his mind to wander again.

Though, at home, this rude demeanor of his was quite unusual, as he was the type of kid who wanted to be as highly regarded as his parents; particularly his father to be exact. However, ever since leaving Hogwarts for his little vacation, Draco had been curiously silent, and hadn't even bothered to gloat about what he'd already bullied his parents into buying him for Christmas. No, instead, he stared out the window of the train with tired eyes, as if something had been keeping him up late for the past few nights. And to say the least, Pansy was distraught, as with Draco acting all sulky, she had no one to coo over like usual, and instead opted to write in a little leather diary for most of the ride to King's Cross. And on the rare occasion that he happened to glance over at her, Draco noticed his name written down a number of times between lines, as well as a few nicknames which were obviously referring to him and… cringed. After all, nicknames were one of those things that made him do such, along with mudbloods, Hufflepuff's, Gryffindor's, and more specifically Harry Potter and his horrid little Golden Trio, with that know-it-all Granger, and the poor Weasel King.

But what was the honest to goodness truth behind his esoteric behavior?

Simple; it had all started two months before break on a rainy day of studying after school hours.

Draco wasn't alone often, as Pansy was constantly hanging off his arm, Crabbe and Goyle would follow close behind him at all times, and every once in a while Blaise Zabini would show his face in the group. However, due to a set of peculiar circumstances that night, including Pansy's sudden spontaneous need to have a chat with one of her girlfriends, Crabbe and Goyle's having a bit of food poisoning, due to eating the food Draco had knowingly offered them after a certain friend of Harry Potter's had taken it upon himself to hex specially for the blond Slytherin, and Blaise serving detention for sneaking out after hours in order to get laid, he was, in fact, by himself. And thusly, things were unusually quiet at his table.

Due to this change in atmosphere, Draco found studying to be a bit of a pain and quite impossible, and instead opted to gaze around the room dryly. When his eyes scanned over Harry he paused however, and took a moment to think of a few insults that he could send his way, but decided against it moments later and continued to look around. A second later, his eyes landed on a group of Ravenclaw third years who he recognized as a few students that he'd often found himself considering to be very levelheaded and smiley, and wondered how he'd ever even bothered to notice. Though, it did strike Draco as odd that any studious know-it-all in Ravenclaw could ever be relaxed, as, in his segregating mind, all they did was study, and thusly had to be stressed out about their marks and up coming test and whatnot.

However, it was right then that Draco had a stunning realization.

Surrounding the small cluster of five kids, there was no talking. In fact, instead, the air was being swallowed by a blistering silence, which seemed to be contagious to all of those within the small area surrounding. Yet, not all five were gazing down at their text books and taking notes either. Rather, three of them were staring off at nothing with calm and content expressions. And this was when Draco realized his number one fault, which was probably going to be the social death of him one day… or something.

He was a quick thinker.

No, scratch that.

He really _didn't_ think at all, did he?

In fact, everything that Draco Malfoy did, all of the actions he took and decisions he made were run by nothing but the ideas and beliefs that had been programmed into his mind since birth. So, in order to better himself, Draco made a mental promise to think everything through from that point on. After all, it seemed to be healthy for those few Ravenclaw's, and possibly a large fraction of the rest of the school.

So, ultimately this was the reason behind Draco's peculiar attitude and demeanor, as he did nothing but stare out at scenery and daydream most of the time from that point on. Of course, when he'd gotten caught doing so in potions class, by mistake, Snape paused and gave the blond teen a look of wonder, if that was honestly the right way to describe one raised brow from the dark and eerie teacher which was his godfather. Wonder didn't seem to fit him all that well. Draco soon found himself, in fact, thinking of different words to describe the man as Snape drawled out a rather uncaring sounding question which involved the boy's health. Though, when the blond did nothing but stare blankly at him, he directed him to go visit Madam Pomfrey for a bit of health screening… both physically and mentally.

And when Draco remained seated with the same far out expression adorning his usually snarky face, Snape furrowed his brows even further then they had already been and decided to enlist Harry Potter as the other's escort to the hospital wing as a small punishment for his silent and unintended mockery. And though reluctant, Harry stood from his seat and headed towards the door with a quiet sigh, as he didn't dare protest against Snape. Of course, while he'd expected Draco to follow, the blond did no such thing.

"Mr. Malfoy!" Snape suddenly spat a bit louder then he'd tried before.

Luckily enough, this time Draco popped out of his stupor and blinked with surprise. "W-what!?"

"Go, now, follow Mr. Potter!" To say that the potions profession was irritated with his godson would be quite the understatement. However, along with that, he was also very confused as to Draco's state of mental health.

Sensing the tension in the air, Draco also didn't bother to protest and stood from his seat with a frown.

**. x . x . x .**

The venture to the hospital wing wasn't to long, but caked in silence until the two boys had emerged from the dungeon. Up until that point, Draco had been silently musing to himself once again, merely following the back of Harry's head. Though, as he varied in and out of reality, he was lucky to be behind the other as, embarrassing as it was, Draco had nearly run face first into a wall. Though, all the while, Harry himself was a bit miffed about having to escort his arch rival to get medical attention, but wasn't mad enough to complain, as he really was glad to be out from under the accusing eyes of Severus Snape, who, Merlin knew, he wasn't to fond of.

Suddenly, as he continued to give the back of Harry's head a curious gaze, Draco realized something.

And being the completely new and rational Draco, he opted to find out the answer to his new found question.

"Hey… Potter," he sneered, already fully aware that he was about to make an idiot out of himself.

Harry let out another sigh. "What Malfoy?"

The blonde paused for a moment. "Where are you taking me?"

In an instant, Harry stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face a rather uninterested looking Draco Malfoy. "You really are sick, aren't you?" he asked then, wondering what sort of answer he was about to get.

Draco scoffed. "No, I'm not sick, Scarhead! Why the bugger would you think that?!"

"Bloody Hell Malfoy, you've lost your mind!" Harry exclaimed. "Didn't you even _hear_ Snape? He was trying to get your attention for almost five minutes, and you were staring straight at him! He told me to take you to see Madam Pomfrey! What were you thinking?"

The other considered this for a moment. "I was thinking that Snape's nose had an odd shape…" he deliberated then, though more to himself.

Harry looked disgruntled.

"Well, you've officially lost your mind. Congratulations Malfoy."

"Oh sod off Potter," Draco spat. "Even if I did lose my mind, it would still work better then yours…"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Yeah well, unlike you, I wasn't thinking of Snape's nose during Potions class, no matter how distracting it may be," he quickly defended himself. "That honestly doesn't say much for you, now does it?"

However, it was too late for Draco to come back with another insult, as Harry had already lost him to his newly fruitful mind again as he began to wonder why he (_personally_ that is) hated the brunette so much. Apart from his father's hatred and his decline for friendship at the start of first year, Draco had honestly no reasons why he himself hated Harry Potter. But all the while, Harry had established his own reasons for hating Draco, and they were bloody good reasons at that. After all, he was a horrid git who did nothing but insult people that didn't match up to his family's standards. Though, all the while those standards where of the Malfoy's… not _Draco_ Malfoy. His own standards were virtually nonexistent.

Though still, having been raised to be prejudice since birth made it a bit hard to Draco to just go ahead and start loving mudbloods and muggle-borns the way the Weasley's did. The notion that he was now going to just go ahead and make nice with Hermione Granger and the alike was utter rubbish. But, all the while, it did make Draco hate Harry a little less, which was a sign of change… he supposed.

Of course, when Harry had finally found a way to usher the blond all the way to Madam Pomfrey, he wasn't very pleased, as neither was she… or Harry for that matter. Draco wasn't pleased because he didn't know why people kept accusing him of being sick. Madam Pomfrey wasn't pleased because Draco seemed perfectly healthy apart from his mental state. And Harry was pissed because he needed to stay and wait around in case his most hated rival needed to be taken anywhere else.

Suddenly, the pregnant silence which enveloped the three vanished as the nurse made up her mind and turned to Harry. "Mr. Potter," she addressed with curiosity still in her tone, as Draco sat on the cot behind her and eyed his own hands with a strange expression of shock adorning his face. "Please take Mr. Malfoy down to his dorm, as I have found nothing physically wrong with him. However, his incompetence in the matter of paying attention to absolutely anything would be a bother for most of his professors and I suppose it would be much more beneficial for both if he was in _bed_. After all, keeping him here would be a waste of a cot." She'd stressed the bed part, obviously implying that he needed to be asleep. "Then, report back to your class and tell Professor Snape that I want someone to bring Mr. Malfoy back here tomorrow for another screening. Have I made myself clear?"

Holding back a third sigh of the day, Harry drawled out, "Yes Ma'am," with annoyance evident in his tone. Of course, such was brought on by the fact that everyone was treating his snarky enemy like a moronic five year old, and he was expected to help aid him in… walking places. It really was a bloody bother.

When Draco came to again, he found himself being pulled by the arm through the halls. And in that moment, he discovered two things. The first; his hair was really soft. And the second; when he wasn't slinging comebacks in his face, Harry was actually a rather handsome boy. And surprisingly, these two realizations did match up somehow.

Since he'd been staring at the back of Harry's head for a while now, Draco had began to venture deeper into his interpretation of the other's appearance, only to discover, yes, Harry was pretty damn attractive, and his hair looked very soft. So, naturally, Draco began to wonder if his own hair was that soft, as he was already aware of how delicious he was. And so he ran his fingers through it, only to find that it was so soft that he became addicted to the silky sensation running over his skin and twirled his bangs around his left pointer finger instinctively. And _lucky_ enough for Draco (which, yes, was complete sarcasm), Harry spotted said movement in the corner of his eyes and stopped to see what the blond was doing, only to be taken aback by the girlish action.

"What in the world are you doing now Malfoy?" the boy groaned.

"What?" Draco spat. "It's soft!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Sure it is," he deadpanned.

Draco frowned at this, feeling a bit offended. "You bet your ghastly scar it is Potter!" And in order to prove his point, he grabbed the other's hand and placed it on his head, earning an astonished look from his rival. "I told you, it's soft!" he hissed.

Harry was frozen in place with shock at the extremely childish manner in which his usually proud enemy was acting. Though, all the while, he admitted in the back of his mind that Draco's hair was indeed extremely silky to the touch, and he found himself wanting to actually run his fingers through it. But, as soon as what he'd just considered doing registered in his mind, Harry pulled his hand back and Draco rolled his eyes.

"For Merlin's sake Potter," he grumbled with crossed arms. "All you did was touch my hair; it isn't as if my head is hexed or something. Don't get your knickers in a bunch."

"Don't get my knickers in a bunch!?" Harry all but shouted. "Are you even listening to yourself!? Who are you and what have you done with Malfoy?!"

Draco sighed loudly at Harry's dramatic exclamations. "What makes you think I'm not me?" he inquired tiredly.

"Oh, listen to you! You're talking about how soft your hair is… with _me_! And you're acting civil… to _me_! Look me in the eye right now and tell me this is normal Malfoy behavior. Go ahead. Parkinson may like to play with your hair all cutesy like that, but I'm not her. And as your girlfriend I'm pretty sure that's her job or something." Somewhere along the lines, his voice had begun to calm, and Harry looked less angry then he was astonished.

Upon hearing the last part of the brunette's ramble, Draco's frown deepened a considerable amount and in an insulted voice he stated, "Pansy is _not_ my girlfriend. In fact, she's more like something to show off to family since my mother had been pestering me into getting a girl on my arm. I repeat, she is _not_ my girlfriend."

Harry blinked. "She's not?"

**. x . x . x .**

About four weeks later, Draco was officially Harry's daydreamy arm candy.

He wasn't all that sure how it had happened, but before Draco could say "Salazar Slytherin", he and Harry were snogging in the Prefect's bathroom and various other places around the school in no time. And as unbelievable as it was, the truth was that he and the-boy-who-lived had gone from mortal enemies to boyfriends in a matter of a few hours, all thanks to Draco's new way of… well, thinking. It wasn't as if Harry had confessed to him or vice versa however. It was more so, that once they got to the Slytherin dorms, they spent a good amount of time just staring at each other until Harry decided he did, in fact, want to feel how soft Draco's hair was; followed soon after by the need to taste his delicate and pale pink lips. And before they knew it, such had become a daily treat.

In fact, even at the moment, Draco was lying his head on the bare chest which belonged to (of course) Harry Potter, and breathing a sigh of contentment as he fought off the urge to fall back asleep right where they were in the Gryffindor dorm. Of course, though they did this often, all the while he was musing to himself that during breakfast wasn't exactly the smartest time to get in a shag. But, being the two hormonal teenage boys they were, neither Harry nor Draco could pass up the chance every morning… give or take, to partake in their favorite activity. And with his new found persona and all, Draco seemed to deduce that Harry's dominance over him was inescapable, and gave in easy enough. Though, along with this, he was beginning to care less and less that he was the '_girl_' in the relationship, even though it scorched his boyish pride.

However, their new found closeness was kept secret, from all but Hermione that was, and thusly, Draco still had to deal with Pansy draping herself all over him most of the day and had begun to wonder how many ways he could come up with to kill her in one lunch hour. But that was a whole other story in itself.

Thusly, in the end, it all came back to the present time, as Draco remained lazily thinking on his couch wondering to himself how much longer it would seem that this vacation was going to last. And in accordance, he didn't notice his father walk up behind him and jumped when he got yet another smack to the head, only this one was less loving as the previous, and in a flash Draco jolted to his feet.

Though, his mind drifted off again as soon as he noticed that he'd never really paid much attention to fancy decorations which lined his home.

And meanwhile, Lucius was musing to himself that his son had become hard of hearing and, at the same time, blind.

Then he sighed and walked away.

* * *

**THIS CHAPTER HAS NOT YET BEEN EDITED…  
**…However, I will edit it as soon as I get the time and the chance!  
:)

**Spu**: Well come all to Jenny's very first Harry Potter fanfiction, datte! I think this calls for a round of applause!  
**Draco**: …yeah, how'about no?  
**Spu**: Shut up Draco!! My reader's will applaud for me.  
**Draco**: You have readers? Where? ((looks around)) Are they invisible, because I don't see anyone.  
**Spu**: Oh whatever, you're just mad because I made you an airhead, datte.  
**Draco**: Brilliant! You're a bloody deducting genius! But there's more to it.  
**Spu**: You're… submissive?  
**Draco**: Right-o!  
**Spu**: Pft, I think it's endearing, and fitting for that matter.  
**Draco**: ((glare)) Sod off.  
**Spu**: Hey! Harry wasn't the one crying in the girl's bathroom, datte!  
**Draco**: … I'm _so _going to hex you.  
**Spu**: But I love you! D':  
**Draco**: But you're also a bloody git.  
**Harry**: ((rolls eyes)) Look whose talking.  
**Draco**: Shut up Scarhead!  
**Draco**: _**'CRUCIO!'  
**_**Spu: **Haha! You missed, datte! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!11!!!!one!!!!!twentyeight!!!!  
**Draco**: …is that even possible? No. Not for me.  
**Spu**: Like I care. Anyway, thanks to all for reading the Intro of The Fountain of Thought! I know it wasn't great, but I just wanted to get all the important bits out of the way. As for what year their in, I have no idea, so make something up yourself. I guess it's like AU or something, but other then that I don't know. Maybe AU Order of the Phoenix or something, meaning that they are that age, but the same things aren't going on. Also, I don't hate Pansy, so don't think I'm bashing her or something. Oh, and Dear Diana, huh, huh? What do you think for the opening!? So, I know it's really rushed and choppy, but I didn't feel like rewriting it. Maybe some other day. Anyway, that's why I made it an introduction. The first chapter will begin with Draco being back at Hogwarts after the end of vacation, and this is when all of the Third Person Limited starts, so yeah. Oh yeah, and dear **keikopanda102**, I plan to read your Harry Potter story right after I post this, and I promise to review as long as you review mine! Lol, just kidding. Anyway, I promise I'll update soon and that this story will get funny, but school just started.

L a t e r . S e x i i ' s!

-J e n n

**Apparently I'm Immune to Unforgivable's…  
**Omg, that's liek totally friggen awesome dudez, right?!  
Jealous?


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